Have Everything Figured Out By 30? Nope.

Ditching the drama of turning 30

This year, I turned 30. It was fantastic.

  • struggle to understand why I’m so self-conscious at times.
  • often care too much about what other people think.
  • don’t understand why I feel so much pressure to “understand” and figure out exactly what I was “made to do”.

The Age of Finding What Really Fits

Recently, I discovered an amazing lecture called, “The Amazing Development of Men” by Alison Armstong. In it, Alison describes the season of a man’s development in a helpful and realistic way that honors the beauty of each season in a man’s life.

Quitting Things Fast

Where this struck a note with me is that recently, I’ve become aware of how much certain habits are costing me and how fast I try to quit things.

  • don’t genuinely find myself making the time for it
  • don’t feel right about it (on a heart or soul level)
  • realize it flies in the face of every personality test and assessment I’ve taken in the past 10 years
  • find quitting feels like a relief rather than a guilt trip

Adopting New Skills + The Costs of Maturity

In spite of all this “quitting”, I also know this must be balanced with skills that are relatively non-negotiable.

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  • Conveying a message I deeply believe in to an audience
  • Connecting over important topics with my friends
  • Dressing in a clean and casual way . . . at least, I think I do?

A List of Things You Actually Don’t Need To Have Figured Out By 30

Perusing the internet, I discovered there are actually a lot of articles on this topic. It’s super cool when you find out you’re not the only one writing about something!

  • Knowing what you want to do with the rest of your life
  • Owning a house
  • Traveling the world
  • Children
  • Your style
  • Cooking (I disagree with this . . . but my brother in law is living proof)
  • Body of your dreams (#bornwithit) — by now i hope you see my sense of humor
  • Finances
  • Your “passion”
  • Your long-term plan (it’s going to change anyway)
  • Whether you should start your own business (most entrepreneurs start a business in their 40s)
  • How you’re going to make 6 figures (guilty, guilty, guilty)
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Gotta find that flooooowwwww like Crush the sea turtle (Courtesy of Random Pinterest)

The Things About 30 That’s Still Rough

One aspect of Alison Armstrong’s lecture that stung was a clip from an interview with Markt (an audience member).

“Part of being a prince is being painfully aware of what you can’t provide.”

Mark from The Amazing Development of Men

Many days, I have a relentless fear that says, “push harder, gain security faster, be stable, close the gap!”

  1. I need to be honest about what makes me happy NOW and find out what makes partner happy (a.k.a. what we love and want out of life).
  2. I must separate what I want for my life vs. what other people want.

Will I Ever Find The Answer?

I don’t have it all figured out . . . I’ve got slivers that come through sometimes. On occasions, I feel the epiphany of life here and now.

The question to ask at 30 is simply: “With each effort, attempt, and engagement, are I learning more about who I am and who I am not?”

Choose The Few Things That Matter

My time at West Point was filled with talk about values: Duty, Honor, Country, Loyalty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage.

I’m an Army Veteran turned business student who writes about the books, faith, life transitions, and decision-making | USA 🇺🇸 to BCN 🇪🇸

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